A Vespa & accidental wine tasting in Tuscany
Being squashed in a stupid little clown car on a cold rainy day with no idea where I was, was not the day that I had in mind.
What a day it should have been!
What I did have in mind was a day full of country air and sunny skies. On a Vespa, looking out over the rolling hills and the tree-lined farm driveways. A whole day of fun that I have excitedly anticipated for a few weeks.
And then I woke up.
Still with the flu. Still cold and raining. Ag tog!.
Man in Black and people in green.
I sucked it up and made my way to the Vespa tour people where only 2 others interested in a day in the open air (the others probably checked the weather channel). Then this guy in a slick black suit showed up and told us to get into a black van. What!? I reversed like a crazy person and told him there was no way that I was getting into a van with him. I was there for the Vespa tour and not to be kidnapped!
The tour people then explained that he was our lift to the Vespa starting point….. in another town! This was the first shock of the day as nowhere did the tour people mention that we had to go to another town. After some explanation and coercion from the people in shocking green and the Man in Black, me and the other 2 got in with a prayer.
A grease monkey and tour guiding….ehhh?
We drove somewhere for some time and ended up at a car repair place of some sort. The man in Black told us that we had arrived, but I was sceptical. Why would we be dropped of in the middle of nowhere at some greasy garage?
A chubby grease monkey of a man came and welcomed us, but I was still not convinced that that was the tour that I had booked. We followed him into the back (it still seems a bit
You will have to pay a lot!
Then our guide/mechanic gave us a stack of paperwork and told us over and over again, how we are going to pay a lot for any damage to his Vespas. Over and over again. More dramatic each time. Turned out, that the insurance that was ‘included’ in the tour price (which was stated in the fine print, I checked) was not included as per him. We had to give him our credit cards to hold until we get back so that he can check for damage if there were any. We were not happy as we have already paid. (and before you think we should have left him there, remember that we had no phone or transport and had no idea where we were)
Then he checked outside and saw that it was still softly raining. Then he asked a few times if we were sure that we wanted to go out. We had no choice as the company has a no refund within 24 hours of the tour. So, if we did not go on the tour, we essentially paid to sit and wait there until the end of the day until Mr Van came back to pick us up. Therefore, we had no choice than to tell Mr Greasy Greenshirt that we still wanted to go out driving.
Getting banned from test-driving
We had to go outside to take a test ride on the yard. Before we were able to test, he once again told us that he had our credit card info and that we will pay a lot for any damage. What does that do? It makes you extra careful and nervous. I was being so careful that he told me just after getting on that he will not allow me to drive.
That left the other 2. They also both paid but he was not allowing one to drive because of her licence. They were a mother and daughter. The mother then told him that she will lift her daughter but that he needs to refund the difference because her daughter was not allowed to drive. He just made as if he did not hear her.
Then we rode off. I was forced to sit in the stupid clown car, a Fiat something or other. My knees came almost to my ears which I believe were
Country roads take me home…. If only!
The Fiat was in front of the single Vespa (which should have been 3) when the guy stopped on a turn and sort of yelled at the mother about something. We went off again only to have him stop in the middle of the hill. He got out, told the daughter to get off of the back of the Vespa and told the mom to drive to the top by herself.
Then it happened! What was he thinking? Making her stop on a hill and lose momentum. She could not give the correct power to start and go up the hill, and the next thing we saw was her driving of the road and falling into a ditch. He ran after her yelling, how she was going to have to pay for the damage. Not, ‘are you OK?’.
She luckily was not hurt, other than a few bruises. Mr Green Oros told her, ‘that’s it’, we will all ride it the Fiat. No more Vespas. He will call the shop so that they can collect the Vespa and we will go on the normal route. In the Fiat.
That was how we all ended up like clowns in a car. My knees almost hit me on the chin each time we hit a bump, and the lady in the back’s knees kept giving me ‘massages’ (to put it mildly) from the back as the backrest was paper thin from years of service. That stupid car is too small and worn down to comfortably fit 4 grown people for a whole day. At least it stopped raining.
A boozy lunch
Then he took us to lunch. Lunch was included in the tour, but nowhere did the fine print, or the normal print for that matter, state that lunch was on a wine farm as part of wine tasting. (Just wondering why would you have people get tipsy and let them drive? Probably to get them to ‘pay a lot for damages!)
I would never have booked a wine tasting. I don’t like wine. Shocker! There are
The main was pasta with tomato sauce (not the All Gold type ) and again cheese. Desert was a bit weird. It was some sweet desert wine (but it tastes nothing like ours and it is not all that sweet) in a small glass with biscotti. We were instructed to dip it like an Ouma. Jig. I tried it. Did not like it. That is one way, in my opinion, to butcher a perfectly good tasting cookie.
Again the South African in a group.
So, lunch was really good, and we did not have to sit with our guide, so it was just us 3 ladies. Again, I made quite an impression as a South African. The American ladies new only something of Cape Town. And saying ‘something’ was a stretch. The only knew the name. The end.
I find these conversations with foreigners very amusing. Foreigners don’t actually know anything. A Russian lady in Dusseldorf was shocked by me being from Africa and furthermore, she thought that Africa is one country. and that South Africa was a way for me to sort of point her to where in general I was from. She had no idea that Africa was made up of different countries. But that ‘s enough of this sidetrack.
Gelato and Monteriggioni
All the clowns squished into the car again. This time with the souvenirs the ladies bought. Aaaaaa, space, where art thou? We drove somewhere, got double scooped gelato and went back in the general direction of Florence. Rain started again, it was freezing cold and he dropped us off at a
I wonder if this is the famous assassin 
Counting the seconds to leave the garage
After 20 minutes or so, our ‘chariot’ awaited to take us back to the greasy spoon, o wait, the reception area. Then another popo hit the fan. Our green grease monkey dropped us off and disappeared. Turned out that he left to go fetch the Vespa from the ditch. He never called someone to pick it up. If it got stolen or damaged while standing next to the road the whole day, the Mom would have to pay up.
As we waited and waited and waited in the back of the garage for him to come back, I found that my credit card info, and all the people that went before us, was just laying around the garage for all to see and use. I immediately took mine and stashed it in my bag, not wanting any more people to have access to it.
Unhappy customers and a guide who has no clue as to why.
At this point, the American lady went a bit crazy, for the way he treated us the whole day, for leaving the Vespa next to the road and holding her accountable for any other damages, for leaving our personal and credit card info for all to see and use. See, there were thoughts of
When he finally came back she read him the riot act. He, in turn, turned dumb and had no idea what the issue was. What a ‘memorable’ experience. I wonder if she ever went back to their offices in Florence because when we got back they were already closed. I sent them a long e-mail with all my concerns. They only send a ’we are sorry that you did not enjoy the experience’ and then kept on harassing me to give them a good review on Tripadvisor. Such jerks.
Learn from my misshap
So, I did see some of the
Just a hint or 2
Here is what I can tell you. Don’t book a full day tour, go for the half day tours. Do this, so that when something goes wrong you have not wasted a whole day and a whole lot of money.
If you want to know which company I used, you can mail me and I will tell you who to avoid.
And don’t do it in May. As with the hike in the Cinque Terre, it was raining, and it seems that May is the rainy season. And you don’t want to miss out on your once in a lifetime experience because it rained on your parade.
Contact the company, don’t just believe their website
E-mail the tour company that you are looking at with specific questions. Ask them if they will refund you if the weather is bad for driving. Ask them who they will allow to drive (the company I chose’s website specifically stated that they will allow any person to drive, even first-time drivers, but I was not even allowed to do a test drive after the guide told me that I will Pay! Pay! Pay!). Insurance. Ask them specifically what the insurance that the price includes entails (because insurance was supposedly included in the fine print and the price we paid beforehand, which the tour guide said was not true). Ask them how they treat personal information. And go read reviews!
Hope this info will help you choose a better tour company than I did and that you will not waste a day
The day did end well though. I walked around Firenze, climbed some stairs, smelled some roses and found some very funny signs. But since that good part of my day does not sit well with the Vespa tragedy, I will let you explore them seperately.
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